xinli’s piece of heaven

生命,還真的是很有連貫性. 因為甲,所以乙發生,間接的,丙也跟著發生.當初,是誰都沒預料到的.一路上的精彩與驚險,都是讓人生絢麗的原因.

聽着SHE的mp3<<魔力>>,覺得還蠻不錯的.

i have you to be with
everything will be easy
曬的陽光
淋的雨滴
都值得回憶
i have you to be with
懂心不夠近才怕距離
心電感應
絕不斷訊
會如影隨形
曾灰心以為
我來錯了世界
太多想法很另類
找不到人了解
當我說的感覺
牽動著你的臉
互動的淚
讓我們變得特別
你是我的魔力
想要勇敢就想你
一眨眼楮
把不如意
都變成流星
你是我的魔力
心情不好我就想你
刪除憂郁
復制甜蜜
笑容不結冰
幸福是間電影院
沒有單人的座位
要肩並肩
才能看好戲上演

As I walked up to my unit at 12+ am, after parting with jy & jh, a thought came to me:

It's really almost impossible to make someone independent or feel better by cutting off connections, unless you mean to cut off the connections forever.

to make someone feel better/independent refers to make someone not miss/think about you
cutting off connections refers to "disappearing/unreachable"

I should have realized it. It happened before, and it just kept recurring in different situations and with different people. Why did I not realize it? First time was way long ago while I was still a little girl wearing my brown uniform. That time, it was just a prolong disappearance, but luckily, we knew each other pretty well and that saved the friendship (of course, with much explanations) . Then it happened in Junior College, when me and my friend decided to encourage our very good friend to stay strong and less reliable on us/independent. We tried to reduce our sms replies, hoping that she'll try to make new friends and merge into the new environment. We thought, when we become less important to her, then can she lead a new school life. I think, she really did merge into the new environment, but we, our presences, really got flushed out of her world. Sad. Then came my exchange. He wanted to help me to, as usual, get used to my new German environment, and not be so mentally reliable on him, decided to decrease communication.. no sms replies.. no phone calls... to make things worse, I don't have Internet access. I think he did help me get used to my new environment.. however, he wasn't exactly part of it anymore.

I guess some things, once lost, is really hard to get it back. At least the first incident wasn't as bad as the others.. perhaps cos it's the one that happened th longest and has reached the "solution" stage. The other two.. perhaps not yet tackled or solved, but couldn't save anything much.

Never mind about the past, since it's already over... at least one thing for sure now.. I'll never use this method. Three times bitten, and I'm never using it, if ever, again.

12052008

As usual, today's another day spent out in town. Collected my visa and am really legal to go France. Yup, I've NOT started packing at all and I'm flying off Wednesday night. I think I've got a baggage left in Vietnam.. how to retrieve it and bring home? Hmm...

Then was shopping with mum =) Promised to be home for dinner later tonight .. haven't been eating at home much. Really.

Then was meeting with yj, yf, jy at City Hall. Decided  to dine at The Soup Spoon and I decided to try the Pumpkin Soup Bread Bowl. =) It's nice and good to eat, since I'm really in a case of bad sore throat. It's probably sign telling me that I'm falling real sick. Feverish too.. must be all the sleep debts..

As mum puts it, "you're always falling sick just before you go overseas/travel!".

Dear mummy, I don't intended that. It just always so happen that I only travel/go overseas after a stressful period aka. exams.

Met Peggy & Joon Hong at JEC macs and chatted. Didn't really chatted much with peg though.. thanks for the handy pouch. =) I love the pink & black contrast.

I must get well...

I miss you .. will email when I wake up.. cmi already..

Budget Terminal

10052008(001)

It's my first time in Singapore's Budget Terminal. One word - budget. Nothing much to comment on, just like the terminal itself, simply functional and simple and empty. Waking up at 7am was hard today due to the really late (previous) night and the past sleep debts. Almost thought I was going to be the late one until someone else couldn't wake up too! Hahaa.. and we ended up on the same train. Talk about coincidence, he saw me after we alighted at Changi Airport station. =) Nice.

Breakfast at BK was croissant stuff. Guess it's not too bad, except for the fact that the oil kept dripping out of it.. pretty oily digusted by it.

P1005080007

Yucheng preamp-ed me not to cry, the night before. I thought I was alright until when he really went through that immigration gate. It was almost like pressing the "cry now" button. Eyes got really swollen and it went pouring after I turned my back and left. Sigh.. totally not that 堅強 at all. At least I managed to run the "stop crying & act normal" button by the time my train reached Outram Park. Even running down the connection to the North-South line to Harbour Front was therapeutic. I guess I'll have to do a lot of running these few days here in Singapore before I fly.

Shit, I mean, Jieming, I really miss you.

Everyone's going on grad trip with friends and that really got me thinking how come I'm going alone. BAH.. nevermind la, Xinli will accompany me and hopefully I meet some new friends. I'm meeting Anissa & that stupid CJ & maybe Jun Yong. Suddenly that "just arrived at Stuttgart" feeling is waving back at me. Shooo!

I think I need to decide on where to travel to in France after my immersion at Montpellier end, real soon. Ideas anyone?

Orion gathering

10052008(003)

I felt really touched when Max told me, "I remembered that you said *must personalise the gift." That was probably in 2004, year 1 NUS when I told him that. I get really happy or call it xin wei (欣慰) that someone actually remembered what I said, or so to say, what I said actually made sense to someone and he/she actually kept that in mind. =) Max 你要加油! I think you can deliver your Project F report by August this year, or just bring her to our gathering ;) Even me, looking at that Collage you made for F kind of touched me, just by looking la. So.. hahaa.. think things are looking good for you! Weirdly, thanks for remembering such things *, which made me felt proud of myself for a while. =)

I guess it's pretty much true, at least that's what I feel. Everyone can buy something, but the one that bothers to put in the extra effort to personalise the gift just shows something more. Be it just making a collage, or scribbling something.

10052008(005)

The gathering itself was short but nice, I guess. Ryan and Xianxi left shortly after I sat down for like less than 2 minutes. Didn't get to talk to them much, or if at all. Quite a pity. Oh well, at least the talk at Pacific Coffee with yf & Max was good. Or was I just simply talking too much? Even to the point that my cheeks were really feeling very sore from the talking, or was it the laughing/smiling, way too much than usual? I guess it's just a way to divert attention.

Gotta really keep myself busy for the while. This sounds weirdly too familiar.

Dinner Buffet @ Herr Chan's

I kind of felt redundant there. I mean majority of them are going to Switzerland and not that they really need any information from me and I was just trying to kill boredom after I was done with the food. I guess Herr Chan's place really looks interesting. I like the huge glass window concept and balcony. Totally my style. But, not beside a busstop please and not on the first floor.. no privacy. I think I'll need to earn alot to afford my dream house. But ya, I'm thankful that there's siwei, yucheng & gladys to help me pass the time. It seemed to be crawling by... and I was feeling really sleepy and tired.. just wanted to sleep.

Thank you for the buffet nonetheless.

It's funny how this girl came to me and said, "Hi, I remember you from the Podcast (worksheet)!" Thanks for the little compliement even though I know it's just being polite. She actually commented that Jieming sounded quite professional.. ah.. someone's going to be over the moon.. in disbelief =P

Now, Xinli's feeling...

10052008

I'm really feeling tired, despite 2 coffees today and a bit of red wine. Let me rest well tonight and not think too much. I'll think about my FYP softcopy tomorrow after my klunch. And yes, she's still missing him. Maybe she'll get used to missing and not be too affected by it? Keine Ahnung. 

Take care dear and have fun =) Yes, write! =D Haha..

I have many different notebooks. Different sizes, different styles, bought or made, I love them all. I guess I should be bringing this small notebook that I bought in Barcelona Airport to France this time round. It's the right size and I love to write on the small squares.

And, I decided to read through my entries of my 8 months in Germany... Here's one entry on my trip to Budapest with Charles and Jieming.. of course.. full of grammer and spelling mistakes.. but u know.. diaries ain't supposed to be exam scripts.. as long as i can record the events n feelings.. it's good enough for me.
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29 Juli 2007
0042

Jetzt bin ich im Nachtzug Wagen 264 nach Budapest mit Charles und Jieming. Jieming is schon geschlafen, aber wir beide sind noch wach! Oh Gott... bitte macht mir jetzt müde... ich möchte so gern jetzt ausschlafen. Diese ganze Reise wird fast 9 Stunden dauern... ich muss trotzdem schlafen! Vielleicht aufgrund dieses engen Platz...keine Schlafwagen, nur Liege Platz.. Trotzdem habe ich mit Charles eine Unterhaltung gemacht...doch... ich muss irgendwie schlafen.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, so we were on night train to Budapest from Munich lo... and I had thought there were no more sleeping cabins... then only later did I find out is that the 2 guys wanted to save some $$ and go for the incline seats... crazy... I totally couldn't sleep lo... then so cramp.. I think I put my legs on Jieming & Charles' luggage lo .. or something like that.. then in the middle of the night.. some idiots were smoking in the cabin... -_- curse them... I almost thought I would die of immediate lung cancer! And then, the stupid cabin's air-condition broke down... so it was hot, stuffy and smoky! OMG!!! I lost conscious for a short while now and then... and when we eventually reached Budapest.. I was really thankful and happy to be out of the train.. Me and Charles totally couldn't sleep... not like Jieming... slept like a log... ah... LOG.. I know why... hahaa..

But well, that Budapest trip was nice and memorable.. =) Within the 4 walls... hahaa..  I wonder if I'll have any interesting people to meet this France trip... kind of looking forward to it .. worried too...

秀髮還未乾,我靜靜在這夜的寧靜中聽着mp3.是累了,但心仍是沸騰的.今天的我不必再為課業壓抑,也是洩洪的一天.很慶幸,終於可以盡興的感受生活的感受.想做,就去做.時間也真的不多了,每分每秒,都要好好的珍惜.夕陽出下之餘,在新加坡河畔聚朋會友,品嘗墨西可料理,真是享受.然後,與界鳴一同看了What happens in Vegas且漫步在微星閃爍的黑幕下那空蕩蕩的市區.別是一番滋味.香草口味-淡淡的甜意,自在且舒服.

能在夜幕低垂之時,仍處身在外,可還真是罕見.
有好多事想做...睡眠似乎相比下顯得微小許多...

偶然的,發現了這首mv...感覺還蠻不錯的.

第一次我发现自己可以这么坚定
不管别人怎么关心我就是爱你
我知道这样的决定也许有一点点任性
我只是忠于自己
爱情不是三言两语就可以说得清
有时一个眼神就能看透真心
虽然你也可以选择逃避或置之不理
但你知道的我还是会等你

别怀疑我为什么爱你
就像云恋风风恋着雨
其实我也不太懂这是什么道理
我想这就好像呼吸
不用练习因为是你

爱情不是三言两语就可以说得清
有时一个眼神就能看透真心
虽然你也可以选择逃避或置之不理
但你知道的我还是会等你
别怀疑我为什么爱你
就像云恋风风恋着雨
其实我也不太懂这是什么道理
我想这就好像呼吸
不用练习因为是你

别怀疑我为什么爱你
就像云恋风风恋着雨
其实我也不太懂这是什么道理
我想这就好像呼吸
不用练习因为是你

Yeah! 02s67 class outing at Central Mall Waraku. =) 

5th May 2008 Outing 010

回神後 殘餘似參雜些蠢痴
不敢了 =P

不確定 愉悅真流逝了敏銳
願 仍踐踏現實而非夢一場

Seriously, I really odd ought to be studying, but couldn't help but give in my curiousity & care for my friend's 5.5.2008!! Haa... congrats!! Knowing you for so long.. about 11 years already... I can't believe that you changed from that innocent guy to today's erhm.. master of fl*rt.. dots.. oh well... hahaa... thanks for sharing (though it seems more like an exchange of story) and enjoy ur fairytale =D

*sis, u know him... haa.. make a guess who I'm referring to!!*